Maybe it’s just been a bad day, but I am disgusted right now. I have so much that I want to say to so many different people, but since I’m a ninny, I’m going to sit here on tumblr and write about it.
Every time I go to school, I feel like I will vomit. I am so tired of everyone and everything and the same old problems coming up every week. I hate that I can’t get my mind around my feelings. I hate that I can’t reconcile what my heart wants and what my head knows I should want. I hate that I can’t show this side of me to anyone in public because being emotional in public is unacceptable. hate wishing I could tell people what’s really going on but not being able to. And knowing that this year is about to end but feeling like there is so much left unfinished.
I hate looking in the mirror and seeing a disgusting, fat hypocrite. And promising myself that things will be better tomorrow, but doing nothing to change it. I hate that I’m listing things that I hate. Seriously…
“There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. It’s like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction—every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it’s really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour.”—Sylvia Plath (via obdormio)